To My Dearest Friends: December Greetings / Für mein liebe Freunden: December Grüße

My dear Friends:
In this wintry season I wish to inform you that, overall, I am doing well. The weather's fair enow, to some balmy 30°C, a bit unusual for winter, but I can only reckon that it is due to some mysterious anomaly, the Yeti, Dragons, UFO's, or simply CO2.
Meanwhile college looms before me, sending me into fits of panic, distress, giddyness, and melancholy, mixed with bouts of calm.
I believe it is a temporary condition.
As for the imminent 25th. My loved and dearest, I wish you endless joy during this season. May you find lightness of spirit (hopefully not the lightheadedness of spirits), laughter, comfort, and worthwhile company. To those of you who are spending these holidays abroad, may you enjoy the new setting. In the end, my brothers and sisters, I wish you happy holidays, and to those who are partaking in spirits, a miraculously clear morning-after.
With great love,
Guillermo Garcia Viesca Charles

*********************************************

Mein liebe Freunden:
In diese kaltes Jahreszeit ich möchte ihnen sagen dass, gesamt, mir ist gut. Das Wetter ist gut genug, 30°C, ein bisschen seltsam für Winter, aber ganz bequem. Ich glaube diese Effect ist weil ein UFO Invasion, Drachen, oder Kühlstoff.
Jetz Universität auftaucht bevor mich, und das macht mir ängstlich, nervös, und manchmal, glücklich. Aber, überall ich bin ruhig (ist dass gut?).
Ich glaube (hoffe) dass das zeitliches ist.
Über das wertvolles 25 Dezember. Mein Liebe und Verliebt, ich wünsche ihn endlos glück durch diese Jahreszeit. Möchtet ihnen geistlich Leichtigkeit finden (nicht spirituos Leichtigkeit), Gelächter, Bequemheit, und gutes Gesellschaft (auf der Donau, in Dampfschiffen?) . Fur ihnen das reisen in diese Zeit, ich wollte das ihnen können das neues Land genießen. Am ende ich wünsche ihnen ein frohes Weihnacht, und für sie das werden alcoholiziert wurden, ich wünsche sie ein wundersam klares Kopf das nächste morgen.
Großes Liebe von,
Guillermo Garcia Viesca Charles

Wish you a Comunist Christmas - A Manifest

Due to the overwhelming amount of complaints pertaining to the commercialization of the christmas season and festivities, I, the great G, have decided to do something about it, or better said, propose a solution to it that ought to be brought into action immediately. Due to the fact that capitalism is the root of commercialism, I propose to turn over the festivities to the opposing ideology: Communism.
Firstly, Santa Claus.
The red velvet suit with fur trim is the dress of the of the Oligarchy. Let us substitute that for the trappings of a member of the Politburo, and have his sack brimming with corn and steel... and food coupons. That way it reminds us that it is the fatherland (and the party) that provides, ultimately, for us.
The Bethlehem star is too nationalistic, and due to the internationality of the feast it should not be stuck to a particular place but be equal for all men. The Bethlehem Star-Sickle-and-Hammer is better.
The adoration of the three Wise Kings... gone! Expropriation of the Kings is better. Of their lands, of their properties, and of their titles.
Joseph as a factory worker, Mary as an agricultural worker, the bull and ass as a trabant car and a tractor. This symbolizes that the working classes are united.
The angel that heralds the Good News: Marx, or Lenin... or both. For it is they that gave us the glorious ideas of communism.
As for the presents, I believe that identical gifts to every member of the household, likely socks, are the best idea. Strong, utilitarian gifts that serve the function of functionality.

And there it is, the plan for substituting the White(Menshevik) Christmas for a more righteous, true, and correct Red(Bolshevik) Christmas.
Thank you